LonelyAndPathetic.com

Snow will be the death of me. I waited 25 years to see snow and now that it's here I want it gone. The only moment it is fun is when it's falling. After that when the city turns into a giant filth-flavored slushy, there's nothing more annoying than trudging your way through thicker parts and nearly falling on your ass every time you want to cross the street, which in this case is about 58 times per day. It is difficult to get to where I need to be. It makes me unmotivated to get to my gym or to get things done in general. The only thing positive about the snow is having someone warm to sleep next to.

While on the subject I want to mention I have signed up on one of those internet dating websites. Let me tell you what a joke it is. You want to talk about feeling lonely and pathetic - sign up on okcupid.com where you, and the rest of the community can look for a quick fix to your problem. I think I have spent 5 or 6 days and I'm already over it. I prefer the healthy way to dating where you meet someone, become interested, and eventually get over that bump in asking them out. I went out on one real date off of there. She talked too much, listened to nothing I said, had terrible teeth, and a terrible sense of humor. The best part about the date was drinking to a point where I could tolerate her. At the same time I guess I can't really complain because I did meet a really cool friend through there. She's an amazing singer with a great personality. We agreed that if anything we'd be awesome friends. I hope she was serious.

So that is the end of my 5 day internet dating spree. Not for me. I am too old fashioned I guess? Thanks to my good friend (which I will keep anonymous) for the advice on signing up. Good luck with that man.

So my new job has been real hard on me. 3 breakfast shifts in a row this weekend. This completely gets in the way of my life long dream at being a party animal. I was told I technically am not able to receive dinner shifts until I take the menu test. Makes sense. But I still can't help but feel like I'm just being taken advantage of. I work hard and provide great service. After being chewed out recently because I missed the ingredient "air-dried ricotta" in the mixed beet salad during a pop quiz in front of the staff, I lost a little motivation. That night consisted of me working harder, but being a bigger dick to customers. Funny how that works. I want to mention sales were better as were my tips. Do I keep up with the "I'll show you" attitude? Time will tell.

I miss playing music. My heart will always be there. Every day I believe I have a little moment to myself where I miss that energy and creativity within myself that music pushes out of me. It is just too hard these days with how much money and time is put into something and only receiving something so subtle such as a few chills throughout your body. I'm sure eventually I'll make my way back into playing again, but for now I just don't have the time or financial stability. Plus I have to remind myself I am here in New York for different reasons - to establish a life for myself. I can't go back to the dreadful, sweaty armpit of the United States.

I am still very happy with the fact that I am here. Every day is a new adventure and some sort of stupid task that annoys me. In the end I've learned something new. Ive learned that either this or that pisses me off or that this or that makes me happy. In the end this is exactly what I wanted, and it only gets better. After weeks of taking the trains in different directions I have figured out the system; for the most part. I am looking forward to the spring and summer seasons. I'm excited to putting on my cut-off jorts, and black vans so that I can ride my bike around prospect park finally.

Nothing motivates me more to write than waking up from a 6 hour nap at 12:30 in the morning. The last 2 days have been exhausting. A very busy Saturday night at work, followed by a Sunday morning breakfast shift. Basically that means I had a 3 hour break in between shifts over night where a friend of mine in the city let me crash with her. One employee was fired today, as well as a no-call no-show so of course I got stuck to work through lunch too. I slept 1 hour during my break and worked another 10 hours. As I said...exhausting. But lets back up.

I have had issues with my computer recently which disallowed me to be able to write. A lot has happened in the last few weeks. For example, I started my new job. I work as a server in mid-town Manhattan in an up-scale Italian cuisine type restaurant. This was the first job I had applied for when I moved here and they hired me pretty quickly. Since then I spent a week in training and another week on the floor selling. The job requires more dealing with people and less about the "staying busy" aspect which most restaurants around Central Florida expect. No more constant wiping tables and doors! The staff is really fun to be around. Each shift we undergo a wine tasting before we start so we can sell the bottle. Also, we are given a free meal before starting. With that said the job is pretty awesome...so far.

So I witnessed my first snow ever. Turns out my first snow had been one of the top 5 blizzards recorded to ever hit New York City. I remember seeing the first of snow flurries and almost immediately hopping on my bike to ride around and experience it. I quickly found out that is hard to do considering my eyes were being pelted by the falling snow. After about 10 blocks I made it back home and locked up. Later that day I went over to target which took me twice as long. By that point I believe we had 6 inches that had already fallen, which means I was only trudging through the snow to get to wherever my destination was. By the end of the day there were cars everywhere stuck on the roads with nowhere to go. I had even put on my boots and tried to help a couple out front dig themselves out. It was useless. By the next morning all public transit was shut down, cars were buried underneath the snow, and New York City was on foot. I ended up walking to my brothers which is a little over a mile from me. We went to fort greene park to do some sledding. We found some cardboard boxes and went down the hills on them. The wax makes for some good sliding! By the next day I was sick of the snow. That was enough.

A week ago was my company's holiday party. This was probably the most fun I have had since I have been here. At the top of the new Gansevoort hotel was an open bar with free food. There was around 150 people there all involved with the company. The view was incredible for all I saw was building with pretty lights. I remember starting out the window alone and thinking to myself who would have ever thought I would be here today in New York City at an amazing company party. I reflected on my life and how much it has changed within the last month. The rest of the evening was filled with alcohol and dancing with the rest of my staff. Some older woman gave me her number and wanted to get coffee. Each day after that for a week I wondered if I should call her or if I was too incoherent to make a judgement if she was attractive or not. I left it alone. It's too dangerous for an awkward date.

I finally have my room put together. Buying a bed was a nightmare. I ended up buying from Ikea just like any other college kid. The furniture if affordable, and attractive. I purchased my bed frame, and mattress. I immediately started building once I got home only to find out I need base board to complete the process. You would think Ikea would either sell everything in a package or at least inform you that you will need base board to complete your bed. So I made another trip to Ikea for the board which took 3 hours out of my day. Reading further in the directions I also realized the frame did not come with a mid-beam. Back to Ikea. Another 2 1/2 hours. All in all I think I had spent 8 hours shopping for my bed.

Friday night I went to my first ever show in Brookyn. My good friend Lisa invited me out so I joined her with nothing else to do that evening. The venue was someone's basement apartment which had a loft. It was very similar to the house party scene in Can't Hardly Wait. 5 bands, everyone had brought their own beer, and everyone going crazy. There were crowd surfers, beers being thrown around the room, and everyone was dancing having a good time. Keep in mind this is in a tiny 1 room loft apartment. This is one of the many reasons I love punk rock. There's no staff to regulate. When you let the people off on their own then they will have a good time and there will be no problems. Everyone takes care of each other. It's like family no matter who you are or where you are from.

I'm going to try and get some more rest before my shift tomorrow night. Work has been going well. I have learned so much in the last 2 weeks with this company. I can't believe it. Soon I will be a wine expert. Who would have thought?

OH MY GOD I GOT LOGGED IN. Expect a blog update soon, but first...winter classic. Go Pens!